


How To Love Yourself

by Writerofthelorde



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Body kisses, Boys Kissing, Chirrut needs a hug, Coming Out, Cute, Declarations Of Love, First Kiss, Fluf, Fluff, Force-Sensitive Chirrut Îmwe, Forehead Kisses, Friends to Lovers, Happy, Happy Ending, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Neck Kissing, No Smut, Not-so-platonic Kissing, Platonic Kissing, Pre-Rogue One, Slow Burn, Space Husbands, Star Wars - Freeform, Sweet, Tension, Young Love, comforting Baze, sad chirrut, so much tension, soft, space boyfriends, space dads, spiritassassin, spiritwarior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 07:23:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10300940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writerofthelorde/pseuds/Writerofthelorde
Summary: Chirrut has a hard time accepting and loving himself after he's suddenly gone blind. His counsellor tells him to kiss his body to make himself feel loved, but he can't bring himself to do it. Baze offers to do it for him and Chirrut can't believe it's even possible to feel this good.---Inspired by a post on tumblr about self care, talking about caressing and kissing your own body to become more accepting of it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is not meant to be smutty in any way, but hey if you wanna see it that way, good for you.

Chirrut was sitting on the ground and sighing, leaning his head back against the bed. He bit his lip every now and then when it started to quiver to stop himself from crying. 

"Hey Chi- what's wrong?" Baze cut himself off as soon as he noticed Chirrut's sad face. Chirrut pressed his lips together tightly before hanging his head. Baze walked over and sat down on the ground next to him. "Are you okay?" He asked instead. Chirrut shrugged. Baze stayed silent. 

"Okay look I know you're not okay, but.. you only have to tell me if you want to, okay?" He said as he moved a little closer to him. Chirrut nodded and Baze leant his head onto Chirrut's for a moment.

"I know Baze I just.. Don't feel ready to say it yet..." Chirrut answered softly. "Okay. Is it okay if I stay here though?" Baze replied questioningly. Chirrut moved closer in response, hoping he didn't need words to explain how he needed Baze to be close to him. 

Baze held him tightly and closed his eyes, ready to just hold each other in silence.

"I..." Chirrut started softly, after a long silence. "I went to see a counsellor.." He admitted. Baze wanted to ask why but didn't want to be too pushy and so he didn't move and just let Chirrut tell him in his own pace. 

"I feel..." He sighed heavily. "I've been feeling very unlike myself... I... dissociate... easily, now that I can't see anymore..." 

Baze's heart sank. Chirrut had been acting like he was fine and telling him that suddenly being blind didn't bother him. But now he knew that it did. "Why didn't you say anything?" He asked softly. Chirrut froze and pulled a face. "I don't know." 

"Okay." Baze replied in an accepting tone. This was a valid answer. Though not useful, still valid. 

"I told her that.. I'm having a hard time.. accepting other people's care... and she told me that's because I don't love myself enough... Which I guess is true cause I don't love myself at all.." He shrugged while he said it; as if it was nothing.

Baze moved away for a second, surprised. "And then?" He asked trying to come off as interested without being too nosy. 

"And then she asked me if I knew how to love myself. To which I obviously said no... and then she told me that in order to feel love.. for myself.. I should kiss my skin... kiss body parts that I like. She told me to hold myself close and to caress myself and to kiss every hint of skin I can reach..."

Baze's first thought was to laugh, his second thought though, was that he wanted to do exactly that to Chirrut right now. And a lot of other times too. His third thought was that he should be less judgemental and trust the counsellor for her expertise. 

"So... why are you sitting here on the ground?" He asked softly. "Because I can't.. see my skin... I feel like I've changed so much..! And I don't even remember what I used to look like..! And now... now I can't see anymore... If I can't see anything, how do I know if I love it..?" He asked as he frustratedly threw his head back against the side of the mattress, trying his hardest to keep the tears inside his eyes. 

"You feel it." Baze answered softly. He moved away a couple inches to look him over. Chirrut shivered, as if he knew Baze was looking him up and down.

"I don't." He whispered. 

"You don't feel it?" Baze whispered sadly in reply. 

Chirrut shrugged, biting back the quiver in his bottom lip. Baze turned and gently ran a hand over Chirrut's freshly shaven hair. He leant in and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. He wanted to say something. Something witty and something kind and something that would make him feel better, but he couldn't form a proper sentence in his mind. Instead he took Chirrut's hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing the top softly, before getting up and pulling Chirrut up with him. 

"What if... uhh... I uhh... I kiss the parts of you I like, so you can feel that instead?" He offered, trying his hardest not be awkward about it. Chirrut was silently getting a blush and didn't know how to react. "If you want to." He shrugged eventually. 

"I do. That's why I offered. I want you to love yourself." He told him caringly, suddenly confident enough to no longer stutter. Chirrut smiled and felt extremely flattered. 

Baze felt a little awkward for a moment because he had almost ended the sentence with "as much as I love you." And he wasn't planning on spilling that secret anytime soon. But the awkward feeling soon left again. 

He finally dropped Chirrut's hand and moved close to him, starting out with a hug. With arms tightly wrapped around each other they hugged for several minutes. Both of them melted into the hold of the other and were content with not moving away anytime soon. 

Then he did move away, but only a little bit and kissed the first skin in his neck he could reach. Chirrut got goosebumps and sighed out heavily. Baze moved his trail of kisses all over his shoulder and down to his collarbone. He gently and carefully nudged away part of his robes as he continued kissing. Chirrut was breathing heavily, trying to keep himself from falling over. Baze's hands were still on his sides and Chirrut had a very hard time not feeling loved because damn this man was _good_ at holding him close and kissing him softly. 

Baze moved his kisses over his chest to his other collarbone, in order to not demand Chirrut to open up his robes. He knew that would make him feel vulnerable and that was the last thing he wanted for him. So he slowed down his kisses and moved up to his shoulder and back into his neck. This made him get awfully close to his face though and made him super nervous. He quickly kissed back down to his shoulder in order to not get awkward while making him feel loved. He wanted to kiss his lips way too badly to not get awkward when he was so damn close to his lips. 

Chirrut absentmindedly moved his hands away from Baze's waist and over to his own robes. He fumbled with them and Baze moved away to help him. Chirrut winced at the loss of contact. God Baze knew how to make him feel good. 

Baze, now absolutely not shying away from skin to skin contact anymore, leant the side of his head against Chirrut's as he helped him undo his robes. Chirrut leant into the touch and tried to focus on that instead of focussing on how frustrated being unable to open up his own robes made him. 

Baze undid his robes and gently guided Chirrut's hands down to the sides of his body. His robes fell open, revealing his naked chest. Baze carefully placed his hands on his sides, looking at his face to make sure he was alright with everything he did, before slowly caressing his way up his chest. Chirrut breathed in shakily. Baze's hands felt so warm and nice and gentle... and _nice_... His hands moved up over his shoulders and to his back, pushing his robes off. It slid down to the ground in a matter of a second. 

He leant his head against his again and breathed in deeply. "The bed's right behind you." He whispered. 

"I know." Chirrut answered breathily, not quite sure how to control his breathing while Baze caressed his skin ever so gently. He couldn't think, couldn't concentrate to figure out what Baze meant. All he knew was that Baze was so damn good at making him feel loved. He made him feel so good he almost spilled out three little words he's wanted to say for forever. 

"Sit down on it." Baze told him gently. Chirrut didn't move. He wanted to do what Baze asked of him but he didn't want to move away from his touch, from the soft kisses he pressed on his temple while he leant against him, from the warm, gentle hands drawing circles onto his skin, from the warmth radiating off of his friend. 

Baze stepped away with a slight laugh. Chirrut let go of a shaky breath and then shook his head to remember what Baze had asked of him. He blushed slightly and then sat down on the bed. 

Baze immediately moved in again and pressed his face in the crook of his neck, while placing his hands on his waist again. "There's no need to be ashamed. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I'm far from done." He whispered with his lips softly touching the skin in his neck. Chirrut shivered and got goosebumps. 

He wanted to say it. He wanted to say those three little words. I love you, Baze, I _really_ love you. But that was why he went to the counsellor in the first place. He didn't think he could ever be loved the way he wanted to be. The way he needed to be by everyone, but mostly the way he wanted to be loved by Baze. 

The counsellor told him he had to love himself in order to become ready to receive a love like that. He didn't have the slightest idea on how to get himself to love himself, until Baze kissed his head and offered to do it for him. Those warm hands softly running over his skin... Those warm _lips_ creating damp little trails over his body.. He couldn't handle himself. He felt so warm and tingly and happy and _loved_.

He couldn't help himself when he moved his hand to the back of Baze's head and tangled his fingers through the little hairs at the nape of his neck, to keep Baze's lips right where they were. Baze shivered and Chirrut could feel goosebumps coming up all over his neck. Baze had abruptly stopped a kiss he was in the midst of and this time he was the one who breathed out heavily. He moved away from his neck to look at Chirrut who was smirking at the reaction he'd gotten from him. 

Baze wasn't sure what to do for a moment. Chirrut couldn't see him but he kept playing with the little hairs in his sensitive spot anyway. Baze drew in a shaky breath and accidentally leant into the touch. Chirrut's smirk grew wider and Baze knew he had made a mistake. He wanted to close his eyes and enjoy the feeling _so bad_. 

He knew though that Chirrut was very much enjoying his touches and could become absolutely mesmerised by them, and so he slowly moved one hand from his waist to his chest, carefully stroking his hand over his skin. 

Chirrut's facial expression changed to an open mouthed look of awe immediately and Baze grinned. He liked playing this game. He moved his head away from Chirrut's hand, but Chirrut was too mesmerised by the touch to realise. He was fully captivated by the gentle caressing and immediately listened when Baze gently pushed him backwards. 

He lay down on his bed and Baze leant over him, ghosting kisses in a line up the middle of his chest. He kept moving higher and placed his knees on the bed on either sides of Chirrut in order to be able to reach his neck. He kissed all the way over to his ear and Chirrut was defenceless. He couldn't move, could barely breathe either, and he didn't mind one bit. 

His lips were parted slightly as he breathed heavily through his mouth and his eyes were hooded. He listened to every touch and moved his face to give Baze better excess. He kissed a spot right behind his ear and dear force it took Chirrut all he had not to moan. Why did that feel so good. 

It was as if Baze knew that spot was extra special because he kissed him there again. Chirrut moved his head further, silently hinting that he wanted another kiss right there, but Baze moved away. He kissed his way down again and caressed his chest a little more firmly this time. 

After another couple of minutes he moved down to one of his legs and kissed it all over. He kissed the top of his legs and his outer thigh and then worked his way down, missing a few spots and then continued on the other leg. He kept skipping a few spots on purpose.  He hoped it would provoke something in Chirrut. He'd have to wait and see though. 

He moved up and kissed his hipbone once and then hummed out a confused sound, before suddenly kissing him on his arm. He kissed his upper arm in circles, making Chirrut laugh. Baze backed off and pulled a confused face. "Is it not helping?" He asked in a tone that matched his expression. 

"Hmm I don't know." Chirrut answered casually, not wanting to immediately yell out how it felt amazing and how he never wanted him to stop ever. 

"Hmm maybe we should try something else then." Baze said, backing off. "Like what?" Chirrut asked. 

"I don't know yet. I'll think about it, but first, I promised I'd spar with someone so I'll have to think of something after that. Baze got up, adjusted his robes and left Chirrut's room. 

Chirrut was left feeling strange and confused. Why did he just leave? He just got up and left! To spar with someone.. but _who_?! 

He decided to focus on the tingles that he still felt instead of on why Baze left all of a sudden. He just stayed in the same position and tried to focus on the good feeling, but he soon got distracted by the body parts he didn't feel the tingles in. Why didn't he kiss me there? Are those parts not good enough? And why did he kiss my hip and then make that sound? What's wrong with my hip?

Chirrut stayed in bed thinking about it for hours. After that he got up, tried to find his robes and after putting it on left the room. He couldn't find Baze all day and stayed bothered by his questions and the feeling of needing to know why some parts of him weren't good enough for Baze to kiss or for Baze to like. He did say he was gonna kiss all the parts he likes about him. But why wouldn't he like those parts of him?

He went back to his room absentmindedly and went to bed early that day. Not that he slept much since he couldn't stop thinking about both how good Baze made him feel and about how he didn't understand why he skipped the parts he skipped. Weren't they good enough..? 

 

The next morning Baze came into Chirrut's room as usual. "Hey." He said as he sat down on the edge of his bed. "How are you feeling?" He asked when Chirrut didn't reply or move away from his spot on the other side of his room. 

Chirrut made a sound but clearly hesitated for a while. "I'm fine." He ended up saying a full two minutes later. 

"You don't seem fine." Baze said, walking over to him. He reached out his hand and touched his arm, making Chirrut jump. "What's wrong?" He immediately asked concerned. 

"Is it about yesterday?" He tried when Chirrut had shrugged. 

"Well..." Chirrut whispered. "Yes." He admitted sounding ashamed. 

"Was it not good?" Baze asked suddenly horrified. 

"What? No! No, it was..! No I mean that's not it..! It was good!" Chirrut exclaimed frantically. 

Baze sighed out in relieve. "Oh good." He mumbled. 

"Why did you sound so... horrified when you thought it wasn't good?" Chirrut asked a little confused. 

"Because... If it wasn't good and I still continued... That would have been horrible..!" Baze said so full of horror it made Chirrut warm inside. He laughed at Baze; the thought of that was ridiculous. 

"If I don't like something you do I'll stop you, believe me." He said in a chuckle. His laugh died down when he realised he just pretty much admitted that he liked getting kissed all over by him. 

He stepped away from Baze and sat down on the bed to avoid getting awkward. He thought for a moment on whether or not to ask his questions right that moment and then decide that he should. 

"Baze?" He asked softly. Baze turned around and stepped closer. "Yes?" He answered. 

"Can I ask you something?" Chirrut asked sounding almost uncomfortable. Baze quickly came closer and sat down next to him. "Yes of course." 

"Yesterday... you... only kissed part of me..." Chirrut was hoping Baze would understand and just cut him off and explain it to him, but this mindset Chirrut was in right now, was the whole point Baze was trying to make. So he stayed silent and waited for Chirrut to find the words to express how he felt. 

"Why... Why didn't you kiss those parts? I mean.. Like at one point you kissed my hip and then made a sound..!" He mimicked the sound Baze made. "And then you continued somewhere else..! I mean why did you do that? Was my hip not good enough for you? What's wrong with it?" He was getting fully offended by now. He had been thinking about it nonstop for so many hours now he just needed to know. 

Baze was smiling brightly at him; he was in exactly the mindset he wanted him to be in.

"Why aren't you saying anything?!" Chirrut asked a little irritated. "You don't seem done yet." Was all Baze said. 

"You damn right I'm not. Why did you skip parts of me? Why don't you like them? Aren't they good enough for you?" Chirrut stopped talking when he heard Baze laugh softly. 

"Why are you laughing? You think this is funny?!" Chirrut exclaimed defensively. 

"I'm laughing 'cause you're..." Baze wasn't sure what to say... Cute. Adorable. Breathtaking. Making me want to kiss you... All of those things were right. "You're doing great." He said instead. 

"What? What does that even mean? I'm doing great?!" Chirrut was making his voice louder in annoyance and all Baze could do was chuckle. 

"You're doing exactly what I was hoping you'd do." He explained way too vaguely for Chirrut's liking. 

For some reason this calmed Chirrut down though, and he relaxed a bit. "What do you mean?" He asked confused but calm. 

"You're not happy that I didn't kiss some parts of you." 

Chirrut got awkward for a second, suddenly realising how desperate he sounded for more kisses. He quickly cleared his throat and spoke up. "Well, yes. aren't those parts good enough?" He asked defensively. 

"What if I said no?" Baze asked. "Well then I'd say fuck you! They are good enough!" Chirrut exclaimed. 

Baze laughed warmly but didn't say a word. It took Chirrut a couple of minutes but then suddenly..

 

"Oh."

 

Baze chuckled for a moment. "Yeah." It was such a little word but he sounded so proud of him anyway. 

Chirrut moved in and hugged him tightly. "Thank you." He whispered, trying not to get emotional. 

Baze wrapped an arm around him and leant his head against Chirrut's. he looked at him through the corner of his eyes and then leant over to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. He saw Chirrut melt right into his touch and he felt himself melt on the inside. 

"Do you... want me to kiss the parts of you I love again?" He asked carefully. Chirrut blushed and looked down. 

Baze spoke up so Chirrut didn't feel obligated to say things he didn't want to say. "I mean, you don't have to say it... But I'm not gonna lie, you looked like you enjoyed it." Chirrut still didn't know how to reply. He wanted to tell him that he did indeed enjoy it but he felt too embarrassed. 

"I'm not making fun of you by the way. I just want you to feel good... and yesterday it felt.. to me it felt like you were... feeling good." "I was." Chirrut assured him a little too quickly. 

Baze chuckled at him and ran his hand over his head, before leaning in and kissing his temple. "Let me kiss the parts of you I love. Let me help you feel good again. Let me help you love yourself." He pleaded in a whisper. He wanted nothing more than to see and to feel Chirrut surrender to his touch again. He knew it was selfish but he just couldn't help himself. 

He had been up all night replaying his memories in his head. The way Chirrut breathed heavily, the way he moved his body to give him more access, the way his smirk changed into a look of complete relaxation in a split second, just because he touched him. He had never felt so loved and appreciated in his entire life. 

Chirrut suddenly got up and out of his grip. He fumbled with his robes and then dropped it to the floor, before Baze could realise what he was doing. "Okay." Chirrut stated. "Make me feel good again." He said trying to come off as confident. 

In a heartbeat Baze was standing in front of him with a hand on his hip and a hand on his chest. He looked at Chirrut's face, a bright blush working its way down his neck, before leaning in and kissing his neck right at the edge of his blush. He couldn't help himself when he pressed a hot and wet, opened mouthed kiss to his neck. 

Chirrut breathed in loudly and shakily and didn't even realise how he tilted his head to give him more access. Baze felt like grinning and doing it again, but he felt too much like he was taking advantage of Chirrut by fuelling his own love for him instead of actually doing this for him. 

So he turned them around and pushed him over to the bed until Chirrut fell over onto it. 

Baze crouched down and started at his foot. He took ahold of it and kissed the top. He heard Chirrut make a confused sound and then letting out a chuckle. Baze just smiled and kissed the top of his foot again. Then he moved up, kissing a trail all the way up to the line of his underwear. Then he moved to the edge of his outer thigh and kissed his way down to his foot again, making sure not to miss a single spot. 

When he had reached his foot again he moved over to his other foot, working his way up and down just like before. When he had reached his foot again he hesitated for a moment, but then just shrugged and kissed all the way up his leg again. When he had reached the top he continued on his hipbone again, making sure to make a happy sound this time. 

Chirrut rolled his eyes at it but grinned nevertheless. He moved over to kiss his other hipbone while reaching his hands up and caressing his torso. Chirrut couldn't help himself when he threw his head back and drew in a sharp breath. He couldn't handle Baze's warm gentle hands fluttering all over his skin. It made him feel too good. 

Baze moved his hands away from his chest and Chirrut felt himself whimper at the loss of contact. He just couldn't help himself. Again. 

Baze used his hands to push Chirrut onto his one side to give him better access to his other side. He kissed his way from his hipbone up his waist all the way up to right underneath his armpit. Then he moved Chirrut back down to his back and continued to kiss a horizontal trail across his chest. 

He moved his kisses a little lower and kissed another horizontal trail back to where he just came from. He zig zagged his way down his chest like this until he had reached his belly button. He grinned at the heavy rising and falling of his belly. He was so mesmerised by Baze's kisses and by the caressing of his hands. Baze tried hard to push aside the flattered feeling so he could concentrate on making his friend feel good instead of himself. 

He grinned again when he got a little idea. He kissed the skin right above his belly button and then slowly kissed his way around his belly button in a circle. Chirrut let out a spontaneous laugh. He couldn't help himself when he ran a hand through Baze's hair, but that hand froze when Baze started to caress his chest again. After a second Chirrut realised and quickly removed his frozen hand from his hair. 

When Baze was satisfied with the effect his touches had he moved to kiss Chirrut's other side. But instead of moving him onto his side he just took a hold of Chirrut's hand and pushed it up to give him access. Chirrut's fingers automatically laced with Baze's and though Baze had pushed his arm far away enough, he didn't pull back his hand. Instead he kept it there and enjoyed the feeling of holding hands with him. He'd been dreaming about that for so long now. He'd been dreaming about doing a lot of things with Chirrut. 

He shook his head to get himself to concentrate on what he was doing again. He quickly continued to kiss his hipbone. He then, just like at the other side, slowly kissed his way to his shoulder, kissing as much skin as he could and stretching his movements without getting too obvious. He just wanted to keep holding his hand, but he also wanted to caress his skin again because he was getting absolutely addicted to the way Chirrut reacts to his touches.

He kissed his way up his arm as an excuse to not let go of his hand yet, but then when he had reached his hand he did let go and instead gently slid his hand all the way down his arm and his side, back to his hip. 

Chirrut couldn't help himself when he shuddered rather heavily. That movement felt so great. He felt so tingly and relaxing and so damn _good_ he didn't want Baze to stop anytime soon. If ever. He was so mesmerised he almost didn't feel himself form a set of very specific words meant for Baze's ears only. Luckily he noticed just in time and he stopped himself from saying them right as they threatened to come out. He sighed heavily. He couldn't remember ever feeling this good. Baze was being so soft and gentle and kind to him. I mean he always was, but never to this extend. 

Baze kissed his hand and then kissed back down his arm right over to his shoulder. He took several minutes to kiss his one shoulder and to caress the other. He touched the upper part of his chest, his shoulder, all the way into his neck. After a while he kissed his way over to his other shoulder and did the same with his other hand. 

Chirrut had a hard time not reaching out and holding onto Baze and running his hands through his hair. He felt like he needed to do something. If not to thank him then to encourage him to keep going. But he didn't dare to do so.

Several more minutes later he finally backed off a little, but only to whisper a kind demand. "Turn around." He told him sweetly. 

Chirrut obeyed and rolled onto his stomach. Baze realised he had forgotten to kiss his other arm and made sure to kiss it extra as an apology. Chirrut smiled into the bedsheets. He felt so blessed for having a friend like Baze. He could make him feel so damn good. 

Chirrut reached a whole new level of feeling good when Baze kissed his spine right between his shoulder blades at the same time as he ghosted his hands all over his back. It made him feel breathless. 

He kissed all around his back; over his shoulder blades, up his neck all the way to where his short hairs started, his kissed his way down his spine, which gave Chirrut a feeling he didn't have the words for to describe other than, amazing. Which really didn't cut it. He kissed every inch of his back twice, at least, and then slowly started to kiss his way up his spine again. 

"Do you need me to kiss the back of your legs too..? And what about your head?" He asked his voice sounding rough, since he hadn't spoken in a long time. Chirrut needed a second to register the words, too taken away from the world and his body to realise talking was even still a thing. When he did register it he chuckled.

"I thought you were kissing the parts of me that you love?" He teased in reply. "Mhm." Baze hummed with his lips pressed against his spine. Chirrut shivered from the vibrations and the tingles it gave him all over. 

Baze kissed his way up, all the way to the top of his spine before backing off again. Chirrut turned around underneath him. "You're kissing all of me." Chirrut noted with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. He might not be able to see Baze, but he knew Baze could see him. 

"Hey, not _all_ of you." Baze replied. Chirrut shrugged for a moment and then breathed in sharply when Baze just leant down and continued kissing and touching his chest. 

"I thought you were only kissing the parts of me you love." Chirrut repeated. "Mhm. I am." Baze immediately answered. They both stayed silent for a while, but then Baze had worked up the courage and leant up again. 

"I love all of you." He said as casually as possible. "Almost all of me." Chirrut corrected him with a chuckle. 

"No." Baze replied. Chirrut frowned and moved in his hand to feel Baze's facial expression. Baze allowed him. "What do you mean no?" Chirrut asked. He could feel a blush coming up on Baze's cheek and the butterflies in his stomach all flew up at once. Did he mean...? 

"Almost isn't a word that belongs in that sentence." Baze whispered, awfully aware of how close he was to admitting his feelings. "Just because I haven't kissed all of you, doesn't mean I don't love all of you... 'cause I do... In fact..." Baze swallowed nervously. "There is one part of you I love... that I haven't kissed yet... that I would like to kiss today...." He admitted slowly. 

Chirrut's butterflies were going crazy and he couldn't form a proper sentence without feeling like he'd yell out, "I love you Baze" along the way. He stayed silent and hoped Baze would do what he thought he was going to do. 

Baze grabbed the wrist of the hand that was holding his cheek. Chirrut frowned. "You've kissed my wrist already." He noted. Baze nodded but didn't say a word. He softly pulled on his wrist until Chirrut's hand slid down his face and neck onto his chest. He made sure Chirrut's hand was placed on his heart and then Chirrut's expression changed again. Baze's heart was beating so fast he felt himself grow a little concerned for him. 

Baze leant down after he knew Chirrut had felt what he wanted him to feel. He leant down till his lips were on Chirrut's heart. He kissed it gently over and over again. 

"Baze, what are you doing, you've kissed me there already as well." Chirrut asked a little confused. "I know, but that was different." Baze admitted with his eyes closed tightly.

He slowly kissed his way up to his neck. "What are you doing?" Chirrut wondered again, trying not to be too impatient, but failing horribly. 

"Working up the courage." Baze admitted. "For what?" Chirrut asked, but he didn't get a reply. 

Baze just kissed his way back down and then around his heart. Then finally he moved straight up into his neck and then onto his throat. Chirrut leant back being happy to give Baze the access he needed to be pampered in even more kisses.

He slowed down his kisses and made them linger on his skin longer than before. When he had reached his chin he took ahold of it with his one hand and tilted Chirrut's head back down. He leant over and kissed the tip of his nose.

Chirrut's heart sank. _Was that what he meant?_ It would make sense... 

But then Baze drew in a deep, shaky breath and finally brought their lips together. They both let out a sigh of relieve before moving their lips together gently.

After all these kisses he was afraid he'd forgotten how to kiss properly, but the second Chirrut kissed back he knew exactly what to do. He kissed back maybe a little too hard even, letting go of his breath and just giving in completely. He brought in both his hands to hold him as he kissed him deeply. 

When he backed off a couple minutes later he laughed. "I love you." He exclaimed with another laugh. But then he got serious all of a sudden. "I love every part of you that I've kissed and every part of you that I haven’t, including the parts I couldn't possibly ever kiss. I love _you_." He told him, finally officially showing his feelings. 

Chirrut pulled a face. "Baze!" He exclaimed. "Don't say such beautiful things! Leave something for me! I mean now what do I say?" He exclaimed. "Nothing. You don't have to say anything." Baze said as if it was obvious. 

"Oh shut up, yes I do! You’ve been making me feel _amazing_ this whole time and all I did was lay here..!” Chirrut immediately replied. “Your reactions to everything I did were enough.” Baze told him with a love-drunk tone and expression, as he ran a hand over his cheek.

Chirrut scoffed and rolled his eyes at him in reply, secretly happy his mere automatic reactions had pleased Baze. "Okay I got something." He said a moment later. "I love every part of you I haven't kissed yet. Every part of you that I'll never kiss and every part of you that I will kiss over and over again. If you'll let me." He took a moment to breathe and his face looked almost sad as he uttered the words. "I love you, Baze." He admitted honestly. 

Baze closed his eyes tightly, hoping that would keep the tears inside them. "Why do you look so sad while saying that?" He asked trying to hide the cracks in his voice. 

"What? Sad? No I'm not sad I'm _happy.._! I just wanted to be as genuine as possible. I've imagined myself saying those words to you so many times but none of them were anything like this so I just... felt like I needed a moment to make sure I'd say it right." Chirrut quickly exclaimed, placing his hand back on his cheek and pulling him to his lips. 

"I know you've been kissing me for the past two hours, but I'd like to actually kiss back this time." He whispered when Baze's lips were almost touching his. 

Baze let out a happy laugh and then kissed him deeply. They kissed softly but deeply for several minutes until Baze backed off to say something witty. 

"You better kiss me all over like I've just kissed you at least once in my life." Baze demanded jokingly. "Kiss your body for over two hours? Ain't nobody got time for that..!" Chirrut exclaimed with a smirk. Baze backed off fake hurt and then dramatically fell down onto his shoulder, pretending to be crying. 

"Aw." Chirrut mumbled dramatically. He ran a hand through Baze's hair and then tried to get him to back off. "Don't worry about it babe, I'll do whatever you want me to." He told him with a kind smile. 

"That's very good to know!" Baze exclaimed. "I'll make sure to remember that for future times, but for now... I'd just like to kiss you, with you kissing back." He admitted, dropping the joking mood. 

"Oohh... I have to kiss back... I'm not sure if I can do that..." Chirrut countered, not dropping the joking mood yet. 

Baze laughed happily at him and then just leant in to kiss him. Chirrut kissed back even before their lips had touched and Baze backed off with a laugh. "Seems like you can." He whispered with a grin.

Chirrut didn't reply with words and instead just tangled his fingers into the back of his hair and pulled him back down to his lips. Gently kissing him. 

Chirrut might not be sure how to love himself, but he sure as hell knew how to love Baze and Baze made him feel loved in return so that was enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think! Comments, questions, concerns are always welcome <3


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